Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
