By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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