I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
