I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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