ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
