I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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