we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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