i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Your tits are I can't wait for
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
