Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize