goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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