You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
