Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
