What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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