I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
there is glitter all over my balls
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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