whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize