I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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