just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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