So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
