He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize