i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
