TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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