Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
