Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize