So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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