I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
