I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just had sex on a roof
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
