brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize