the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
