thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am available for nakedness
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
