You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
