Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
