You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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