do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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