it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
