All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
