He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
