How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
