I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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