Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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