I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
