i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
