Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
