The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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