Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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