I love black thongs
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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