I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I've blown a few things in my day
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
