It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
