i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
