I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
