rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
