you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I did not marry a roomba.
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