My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
