i permit you to call me
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
