His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
