We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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