She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
