mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
