I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
