Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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