a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
