i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
