Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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