I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
