tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
