One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize