Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
