New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
