absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
