Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
